Well Being

Withholding your status as a worker in a parenting place

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A few days ago, there was a school event from 2 to 4 in the afternoon.

At the time, I was thinking, “How in the world are people who work supposed to do that?”

But, I chose not to say it out loud at school, because it's not really worth it. I hold a position in a group there, and, it's best for me not to moan and groan about school stuff.

Additionally, I made up my mind a while back that I simply wasn't going to call attention to the fact that I work full time.

Heh, I am doing the opposite of hiding my status as a parent in the workplace, I'm “hiding” my status as a worker in a parenting place.

OK, so I'm not really hiding it, but, I am one of few mothers at school who work. My running joke is that, “me and the other lady who works are going out for drinks later”.

I have to be careful about it, but, I can get bent out of shape when people assume I can't do school events because I work. I have a hard time putting the usual inflection in writing, but, it goes something like, “Oh. You worrrrk. Grreaaaat.”

The subtext to that is something like, “Isn't that cute? Better you than me.”

Maybe it's a Southern thing.

I'm not entirely sure why I feel the need to minimize it, but, it's probably because when people bring it up, it's usually irrelevant to the situation at hand, and, sometime, it's just simpler for it not to come up.

Sure, there are times that I can't participate at school because I have to work, but, I'll be the judge of that. It's one thing for me to think, “Wow, that's a terrible time for people who work”, but, it's another thing for people to say, “We didn't call you for this because, well, you worrrrk.”

I'm proud of my job, and, it's not like I can quit it, anyway (the spouse teacher salary thing, I'm going to be the little old lady working at Sam's when I'm 90, “Try a cream puff? They're in the case.”), but, as with many personal things, people often don't want to hear you proclaim it from the rooftops constantly, it's simply my reality.

So, there may be times I get annoyed at things like a 2-4 gathering that didn't have to be from 2-4, but, I'm a parent like all the other parents.

If it takes me changing my clothes in the car after work before a school event so I look like everyone else, for my peers to remember it, then, so be it.