Well Being

Take A Moment To Thank Your Dad For Never Buying You A Boob Cake

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chrisley boob cake

Millionaire Todd Chrisley of Chrisley Knows Best, a television program I do not know anything about, bought his 24-year-old daughter two boob related gifts. First, he bought her a breast augmentation. Then, in celebration of that boob job, he got her a boob shaped cake. What a totally appropriate expression of normal fatherly love, amiright?

Chrisley bought his child the breast implants because she was feeling bad about her body after nursing her child. Though a little strange, it makes sense that a millionaire man would spend that kind of dough doing whatever it takes to make his daughter happy. The part of this story that takes the inappropriate cake is the inappropriate cake he got her.

In the newest episode of Chrisley Knows Best,  he makes the audience and his daughter wildly embarrassed by whipping out a massive cake shaped like big titties. “I want to introduce us to the newest members of our family. Look at the twins,” he says before requesting she “Blow [out] the nipples!”

Hold on one sec while I go text my dad to thank him for never publicly acknowledging that he even knows what breasts are or that I have them. I need one more second to complain about my dad, who I love very much, but has never gotten me any themed gifts based on my medical procedures he and his health insurance paid for. Hey dad, where was my cake for my tumor removal? Hey dad, where was the cake for the pin I got in my wrist after I broke my arm rollerskating? Finally, give me just one more second to throw out a few ideas for all the decent and caring parents who want to celebrate their children's surgical milestones with sugary delights.

Thank you for the sec, here are my ideas! If there are any GREAT parents reading this, feel free to leave more ideas in the comments.

  • Butt Implants- Take one from Chrisley's book and get a butt cake. Everyone loves a classic butt cake.
  • Appendectomy- If someone you love has to have their appendix removed, get them an after appendicitis apple pie. Cut the top to look like the little pie has stitches!
  • Liposuction- Get them egg custard, but give it to them in a plastic bag so that it looks like a bag of fat. Suggest it be eaten with a straw. It will remind them of their procedure.
  • Hip Replacement- Get them cookies that are decorated to look like their favorite records. Write a card that says “You're still hip to me.”
  • Tonsillectomy- Assuming you know this person well, get them their favorite food (savory or sweet) and liquify it. They'll be so happy you thought of them when you made their special tonsillectomy milkshake.
  • Heart Surgery- Get them rich chocolate hearts, but remind them they are only for decoration because they have to take better care of their ticket.

via The Daily Mail//Image via Twitter