Well Being

In Case Penises Aren’t Scary Enough, Scientists Want To Fuel Them With Spider Venom

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Stock Image Scary Spider

If you’re anything like me, you freak out at the mere thought of a spider coming anywhere near you. And since penises aren’t scary enough, spider venom could soon be the next Viagra — meaning, you know, there’ll be spider juice inside that already-very-scary thing.

If you’re confused (and frightened), join the party.

Apparently, scientists studying arachnid (that’s ‘spider’) bites say these subtle chomps could potentially give hours-long erections. Brazilian Wandering Spiders’ venom contains the ingredient PnTx2-6, which can cause ‘intensely painful erections that last for hours at a time.’ However, that’s in addition to ‘tremors, excessive salvation and difficulty breathing,’ which are all other signs that you have been bitten by a Brazilian Wandering Spider. Um, no thanks.

Even though ‘intensely painful erections’ sounds terrible and extremely frightening, scientists from around the world are hoping to ‘harvest’ PnTx2-6 to create a ‘natural’ Viagra that can work in 20 minutes.

Yes, really. This particular spider venom can cause priapism, which means a man’s blood can get trapped in his penis, which leads to abnormally long-lasting erections. Researchers and scientists from the University of Wisconsin have been testing on mice, and have discovered that the venom works and has fewer side effects compared to existing erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra.

I’m still not sure I want a penis venom to come anywhere near me, though. And by ‘still not sure’ I mean, no way, never. However, drugs like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra that help man get their sex on past prime sexy time don’t work for everyone. Around 30 percent of men who take said drugs see no improvement, so this could be a revolutionary concept if it proves to be an effective method.

Testing on humans may follow soon, but actual treatment could be years away. Which I’m totally okay with.

(Image via Shutterstock)

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