Well Being

Stocking Stuffers: Inexplicably Weird Stock Photos Of “Sexy Christmas”

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sexy guitar santaWe all know that the world of stock photos is a weird weird place. You can use almost any search word and end up with a picture of something totally fucked-up, like a picture of a woman laughing at a salad. Often times it gets weirder fucked up image will be of of a woman laughing at a salad while wearing a Santa hat.

When I went searching for “sexy Christmas” on a stock photo website, I knew that I was asking for it. By “it” I mean a festive belly laugh. Boy did the stock photos deliver. As I clicked and clicked, page after page, the weirdness snowballed. I ended up in a wormhole of strange yuletide butts and Christmas ornaments and holiday spankings all because I typed “sex christmas” into the search bar. I wish I could show you all the things I've seen to you, but they were too numerous and too raunchy.

Here's a tiny selection of serious Christmas eroticism goofiness, click through if you're feeling naughty: