Well Being

This New Sex Study Is Just The Excuse You Need To Avoid Doing Missionary

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This New Sex Study Is Just The Excuse You Need To Avoid Doing Missionary lower back pain 280x186 jpg

In perhaps the most obvious foray into sexual research ever, a new report has found that positions other than missionary will prevent or alleviate lower back pain for men during sex. Cue glass shattering and a light bulb going off above my head.

The study, published in the Sept. 11 issue of Spine journal, found that the “spooning” position (see also: getting it on side-by-side) is shockingly not recommended for everyone. The Canadian study authors noted little research exists regarding the most accommodating positions for those suffering back pain during sex. So off they went to shine a light on the issue.

Researchers employed the use of a “motion capture” system (we’ll let you use your imaginations on that one) to track the spinal movements of 10 men as they diligently obliged by the confines of this study and had sex in five variations of three different positions with their partners: from the back, sideways, and facing each other. Tough life.

The results? Inconclusive. Obviously, pain and pleasure vary for each individual person. What position works best for someone who experiences pain from flexing their spines forward may not work at all for someone who finds extending their spine to be painful.

(Side note: were these study participants getting paid to have sex, because I really need to know. And if so, how can the general public get in on this exchange without it being loosely labeled as getting paid to bone?)

Many experts in the field of chronic back pain have spoken out against these findings, citing that there isn’t enough reliable information to make informed decisions.

It “tells us nothing about back pain and sex because it excluded people who had a history of back pain,” said Chris Maher, director of the musculoskeletal division at Sydney Medical School at the University of Sydney in Australia. “I think people should ignore this paper. People would be better off being guided by common sense, their own experiences and raising the issue with their partner.”

Communication is always the answer, people.

Photo: Artem Furman/ Shutterstock