Well Being

Resource Water: For Rich Trendy Lady Idiots Who Love Awful PR Campaigns

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Resource Water  For Rich Trendy Lady Idiots Who Love Awful PR Campaigns RESOURCE WATER jpg

The ideal customer for new bottled water brand Resource Water: a mid-thirties woman of “higher income” who’s trendy, cool and a complete idiot.

For some inexplicable reason, Nestle has decided to come out with a bottled water marketed toward women with money who somehow believe that drinking a specific brand of “high-end” water put into plastic will make them cooler or calmer. Pro tip: It will not.

Resource’s group marketing manager Larry Cooper says that Nestle is attempting to market toward “a woman who is a little more on the trendy side and higher-income side, and the bull’s-eye is 35 years old.” This is comically stupid, and borders on the stupidity of Mike Jeffries, the highly-mocked CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch (albeit Cooper is obviously less awful in several ways).

Oh, and their PR sucks:


First of all, she’s in a presumably public park trying to meditate and is somehow shocked that there are other people enjoying the park, too. (If it is not a public park, perhaps she should call the police and get these jerk shadows out of her yard.) She drinks the water and everything becomes calming, tranquil and then — circus-like? Is this bottled water or Absinthe? Or just the most remarkably stupid combination yoga-improv class’ final project?

Bottled water is already absurdly wasteful and unnecessary. Do we really need yet another brand of it piling onto landfills? Er, sorry, landfills are for poor people. Resource Water customers shall throw these exclusively around the Cayman Islands.

Photo: Nestle