Well Being

The New York Times Personally Insults America By Suggesting Alternative Ingredients For Guacamole

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green pea guac

The New York Times is a media outlet I read for news about what’s going on in the world, and the occasional op-ed. I don’t, however, read The New York Times for recipes or foodie thought-starters. That’s what BuzzFeed Food, HuffPost Taste, and Eater are for. However, yesterday, the popular media outlet said, “To hell with the news!” and decided to focus on it’s true passion: becoming a cookbook.

America was collectively confused, but confusion quickly turned to outrage when people learned exactly what they were cooking up.

Apparently, NYT decided they could singlehandedly fix California’s avocado problem (you know, avocado supplies are drying up because of the no good, very bad drought) by introducing a peculiar ingredient to our much-loved guacamole. The recipe, which has caused a stage five uproar on Twitter, includes green peas.

The recipe author explains: “Adding fresh English peas to what is an otherwise fairly traditional guacamole is one of those radical moves that is also completely obvious after you taste it.”

Calling the recipe “radical” isn’t too far off… because it’s radically insane. Inspiring the hashtag #YouMightPutPeasInGuacamoleIf on Twitter, people really let their feelings out:

  • #YouMightPutPeasInGuacamoleIf you think anyone wants to hear about you doing CrossFit.
  • #YouMightPutPeasInGuacamoleIf you bring a guitar to a party and play Wonderwall
  • #YouMightPutPeasInGuacamoleIf you hit “Reply All” to mass distribution e-mails.

One notable skeptic of the “peas in guacamole” fiasco is Obama himself, who aired his grievances on social media.

I think we can ALL agree on this letter I wrote: “Dear NYT, Stop trying to make peas (in guacamole) happen. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.”

Image via NYT