Well Being

McDonald’s France Introduces American-Themed Summer Menu That Has Nothing To Do With The America You Know

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For my money, I'd bet that McDonald's in France has that, oh, je ne sais quoi, that makes its fast fare superior to the golden arches found here in the US of A. That is, until now. The French franchise has introduced a limited-time ‘American Summer' menu, featuring sandwiches loosely based on the states of California and Florida.

The first stop on France's culinary journey to America is the sunny California & Chicken sandwich, featuring crispy chicken, bacon, cheese, lettuce, and a bacon-avocado sauce. I'm guessing the namesake comes from the avocado, which is the only thing this sandwich has in common with the otherwise vegan, gluten-free, mesozoic, insert-whatever-fad-here-obsessed diet of Cali.

Even more mysterious to me is the second sandwich on this fantastic food voyage, the Florida & Beef, containing two slabs of steak, cheese, lettuce, and a pepper-summer sauce. I need a little help from you guys on this one. Are peppers particularly Florida-esque? Or is it the steaks? Or the word summer? Where is this inspiration coming from?! I HAVE NO FRIENDS TO PHONE.

And finally, most hilariously, enjoy some ‘Classic Chewy Chips' with those statey sandwiches. As we all know, nothing, not even apple pie, is more classic to American cuisine than some good old-fashioned, homemade, chewy, chips. When I order chips, I always say, “Can you make these extra chewy?” And they say, “We don't make chips. Bags of chips are over there. Are you British or something? We call them fries here and they aren't chewy, you freak. Get out. GET. OUT.” In all seriousness, those things just look like Fritos put on some extra pounds. Perhaps from eating off this menu.

It's generally interesting that the French, with their famed pride in their culture, would take such a noble effort to capture the magic of American fast food. It's very flattering, France, but  it seems you've mostly missed the mark here. I mean c'mon, how could they forget to put in the razorblades? That's American fast food 101.

(Image: McDonald's France)