Lovely advice from Care2: burnt toast
How many times have you suddenly really listened to yourself and realized how many times you think, “If only…” or “when this happens I'll…:” How much of your life is spent waiting for things to get better, or fighting against things you can't control?
Every once in a while I'll write about the art of surrender. Care2 has done it for me this time in a lovely article about how to rise to the occasion as simply as you might deal with a bit of burnt toast. Shrug, toss, start over.
This bit is something to remember:
When we resist what is then we create more suffering for ourselves, as there is a constant, underlying dissatisfaction, otherwise known as the “If Only…” syndrome: if only this, that or the other happened, then I could be happy. If only so-and-so would change his or her behavior / lose weight / find a job, then I could be happy. If only I had more money / a bigger house / went traveling / had a good lover, then I could be happy.
My ADD coach and mentor and at times saviors made me write this down in my notebook today: Stop thinking I'm that important.
She warned me I wouldn't like it. I asked her what the difference between the ‘I suck, I can't do anything right, I'm an insignificant little *(&#$#%” and what she made me write.
“You can't change everything. You are not the top guy on the totem pole. Sometimes, in adverse situations especially, you need to let go, realize you're not the most important person in the situation, and allow things to go on their own course.”
Keep my head down, do my job well, and just keep swimming. How about you, single mothers. Can you stop fighting what you can't change and work well with what you have, and stop waiting for everything to be just right before you can find peace and joy in your lives? I bet you can.