Well Being

Kirsten Dunst Fears Not Finding A Baby Daddy In Her 30s

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If you like Kirsten Dunst (and I do), then this quirky Lucky magazine profile of the 29-year-old actress is the kind of thing that will only make you like her all the more (if you find her brand of manic pixie everygirl irritating—well, don't read the article). She name-drops Roberta's, the rooftop-gardening Bushwick, BK pizza joint, as her favorite restaurant; gets really super excited about spray tanning; and thinks her ex-boyfriend convinced her to cut her hair short because she looked uglier that way. She also admits that she's afraid of “not finding someone to have kids with” in her 30s.

“I thought when I reached 30 I'd have a lot more figured out,” she says. “Until you have a kid, you're just looking for your partner. And guys have a Peter Pan vibe. They're 35 and they act like they're 25. That's what scares me most about being in my 30s: not finding someone to have kids with.”

I think it's really interesting that she brings this up, because it's one of the factors mentioned least in discussions of when women have children. You see a lot of things about the biological aspects of fertility. You get things about how women are ‘putting off motherhood' because of school, or to focus on their careers or maybe just because they're not damn ready. But it's mostly women portrayed as having the agency (or burden) in all this fertility business.

But young men don't want to be starting families in their 20s or even 30s, either! So who exactly are young women supposed to be having these babies with, even if they want to? For many women in their 20s or 30s who are ready to have children but don't, not finding a partner to have kids with is a real worry. I'm glad we're to the point where people recognize that of course not all women want to have children—in their 20s, in their 30s or ever. But I also think it's cool that Dunst draws attention to the fact that some women do, and just haven't found the right person to do it with yet. When we talk about why women are ‘delaying motherhood,'we should remember to take young men into account, too.

Photo:  FayesVision/WENN.com

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