Well Being

New Report Says Unlimited Breadsticks Can’t Make Up For Olive Garden’s Gross Pasta

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New Report says Unlimited Breadsticks Can t Make Up For Olive Garden s Gross Pasta olive garden stopped adding salt to water 280x198 jpg

Attention, frequent flyers at Olive Gardens nationwide: you’ve been had. The Italian chain restaurant best known for breadsticks that have the same addictive properties as cocaine was recently torn apart by hedge fund Starboard Value. A 294-page slide presentation found that Olive Garden has been committing all sorts of small atrocities (not the least of which includes serving too little alcohol) and generally pulling the wool over our collective eyes.

The company’s biggest injustice, though, lies in their bread and butter. The most damning revelation of this report is that they have stopped salting the water used to make all manner of pasta. Of course, anyone who has survived their freshman year of college and/or endeavored to make a meal that requires literally zero thought, knows that salting the water is sort of Cooking 101. C’mon, guys.

Olive Garden’s parent company, Darden Restaurants, ceased the practice in order to receive an extended warranty on their pots. Starboard is calling the decision “appalling”, and I personally am likening it as a sin against humanity because NO ONE has time for flavorless pasta.

The report also cites pretty reckless breadstick practices that could endanger the waistlines of every fine diner. Employees are supposed to bring out one breadstick per person (plus one extra for the table), but instead have just been piling on the carbs without reservation.

Also dissected ad nauseam in the report: Olive Garden’s outdated advertising practices, straws that are not “industry length”, too much salad dressing, and Darden’s general mismanagement of all things crucial to operating a profitable restaurant.

You can find me at Chipotle.

Photo: Shutterstock