Well Being

I Love You, You’re Perfect, But I Definitely Do Not Want to Have Sex With You

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Check out this post by [Redacted] Guy on Lemondrop about men, women, and platonic friendships:

You may have read the series on platonic friendships over at Slate that I felt compelled to write about this week. If you haven't, go do it. I'll wait.

After reading Juliet Lapidos' articles about her non-sexual relationship with a guy named Jeff, I'm once again reminded of how lucky we are to be alive now instead of, say, in the 16th century, when bro hangs between men and women were uncommon and dying of the plague was not.

Juliet surveyed around 600 readers in an attempt to divine the mysteries of boy-girl friendship, something she holds very near and dear herself. In the initial post, she quotes platonic nonbelievers from James Joyce to Nora Ephron, and laments, “Why am I bombarded with the idea that what Jeff and I have cannot exist?”

Over the course of my life, I've been similarly bombarded; women have accounted for a good percentage of my best friends. Granted, the first of these best friends was initially a major crush, but that was 20 years ago. (We had biology class together. I was 12. She wore tight jeans.) She's still my best friend. Hell, she lives across the hall from me. She's been one of many girls I've been take-one-of-my-kidneys-close to over the years.

All this hardcore befriending of women has come with its share of torment. There's been much “Why haven't you f**ked her?” (from my father/friends) and “Why aren't you two dating?” (from my mom/sisters). It's like, have none of you seen Fool's Gold? If Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson can be two beautiful people who shared that beautiful experience and be friends instead of married with eight kids right now, then surely platonic love is real.

And still – I've gotten the “What's going on with you two?” question so many times that it might as well be the soundtrack to my adult life, right up there with “I'm sorry, sir, your card was declined.”

I'll attempt to explain.

Keep reading on Lemondrop.

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