Well Being

Husbands Need To Adore Their In-Laws…If They Want A Happy Marriage

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If you really want to know the secret to a happy marriage, guys listen up: Get along with your in-laws. According to a recent study, the way a husband feels about his spouse's parents can make all the difference in having a happy wife and a happy life.

Being published in an upcoming issue of the journal Family Relations, a 26-year study is revealing exactly what happens when married couples are close or not close to their in-laws. After studying 373 couples who were between the ages of 25 and 37 and in their first year of marriage when the study began, the lead researcher, Dr. Terri Orbuch, has been tracking the happiness factor in these marriages. At the onset, she had them to rate how close they felt to their in-laws and has continued to track this over the years.

What she found was interesting, to say the least: In couples where the husband reported being close to his wife's parents, the risk of divorce was 20% lower than the rest of the group. However, when the wife reported being close to her in-laws, the risk of divorce was 20% higher, surprisingly enough.

So how do the researchers explain this? It all comes down to how involved your spouse's parents are in your life–or how much you allow them to be, explains Dr. Orbuch to the Wall Street Journal:

Because relationships are so important to women, their identity as a wife and mother is central to their being. They interpret what their in-laws say and do as interference into their identity as a spouse and parent.

Men, on the other hand, don't tend to allow their relationships with their in-laws to interfere with their lives. Dr. Orbuch says that their identity as a father and a husband is often secondary to their identity as a provider, and therefore, they are not as influenced by outside family members.

The bottom line? In an ideal setting, both the husband and wife would have a happy and healthy relationship with their in-laws. The trick is for everyone to know their boundaries and not take interference personally.

 

Photo: postertoreuk.com

 

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