Well Being

How To Heal An Axe Wound

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So you have an ax wound. Don't freak out (just kidding, freak out).

I'm not talking about your pussy, though axe wound is one of the best euphemisms for vagina in my repertoire.This is about healing an actually injury from an axe.  

Axes have been used for millennia for chopping up wood and chopping up people. Despite their simple design, they can do a lot of damage. One should always exercise excess prudence when using an axe even if you're an old pro or an axe murderer. An axe wound is not a pretty sight. 

Researching for this post was a little traumatizing because I'm terrified of blood. I saw a lot of pictures and videos of actual axe injuries, some were even deliberately inflicted by and for mutilation fetishists. I've seen toes and penises split in two by axes and blood and bone and so much gore. There's no torture porn or splatter punk comprable to a real photograph of a human body part lacerated by an axe

So you have an ax wound. Big deal! You can heal this. Even if an axe wielding murderer has come for you, there is still hope–unless they're a Lizzie Borden, evil Tin Woodsman or Axe Man of New Orleans type of psycho; in that case you're probably already dead.  It doesn't really matter how you got that sore, axe wound healing protocol remains the same. Maybe you got it accidentally–you weren't using proper axe safety, perhaps it was an act of self mutilation because you wanted to take a scary video for the internet, or maybe someone did this do you. It doesn't matter: an axe wound is an axe wound. 

Here are the necessary steps to take if you have found yourself with a gash from an axe…

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