Well Being

The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers

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Whisper to a banana.

I’m not a big dirty talker, because I’m awkward as all get out and ashamed of my sexual urges. Apparently, I’m not alone because I googled “how to dirty talk” and a lot of people want to know. Unfortunately, filthy sex chatter doesn’t really seem like something you can learn over the internet, especially if you’re getting advice from Yahoo! Answers.

Even though I’m pretty sure Yahoo! Answers is used only by bored insomniac tweens and is useful approximately 0% of the time you have a question, it can be a well of hilarious and WTF advice. A fun game to play when you’re bored and have feel like you’ve finished the internet  is what I call “find ridiculous yahoo! answers.” You search for goofy stuff and see all the terrible responses you can get to questions. Searching sexually related topics is a well of laughs.

Here are some WTF answers to questions that basically ask “What should I say during dirty talk?”:

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Here’s an example of the kind of question the following answers were responding to, for reference.

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Don’t use the F word when you’re effing. Sound advice! The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers Screen Shot 2014 03 17 at 12 44 54 PM 640x92 png

And you’re just the disciplinarian to punish him. The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers Screen Shot 2014 03 17 at 12 45 07 PM 640x108 png

Don’t be a baaad girl until you’ve locked it down.
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Creepy. The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers Screen Shot 2014 03 17 at 12 45 15 PM 640x116 png

What sort of regular conversation? Should dirty talk stem from talk about the weather? “It’s been so humid outside and in my underwear.”

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Once I had someone tell me they wanted to rip my IUD out and impregnate me. It was the opposite of sexy. The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers dirty talk answer 1 640x140 png

“I very much like doing other men.” “I like doing other men very much.” “Very much is how much I like doing other men.” The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers Screen Shot 2014 03 17 at 12 19 20 PM 640x136 png

That’s just good writing. So eloquent.
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Yeah, tell him that you’re not into dudes at all. Guys like that. The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers Screen Shot 2014 03 17 at 12 43 20 PM 640x129 png

Such a credible source. LMAO.
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“Just act really horny” is solid advice for most situations. Like how to remain calm in court or proper etiquette for a bris.  The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers Screen Shot 2014 03 17 at 12 43 47 PM 640x122 png

It works best if it’s a themed porno with a strong story line. Try finding a wild west porno. The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers Screen Shot 2014 03 17 at 12 44 04 PM 640x92 png

What does that even mean? The Most WTF Dirty Talk Advice From Yahoo Answers Screen Shot 2014 03 17 at 12 44 12 PM 640x87 png

Clever word play, char! “Hole thrill,” get it? Hole as in vagina-hole or butt-hole.
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Lol indeed.

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…sexually.
Image via Shutterstock

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