Well Being

11 Health And Fitness Lies We All Tell Ourselves Around The Holidays

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new year's resolutions

‘Tis the season to make lofty statements about all the health and fitness goals you're going to meet over the holidays! Here are eleven lies we all tell ourselves during the chaotic holiday season.

1. I'm totally going to work out before Thanksgiving dinner!

sleeping on couch

That was a great idea you had! You had your gym bag all packed, you looked up some workouts you could get in from home, or you put a sports bra on. Did you actually end up working out? Yeah. That's what I thought.

2. I'm not gonna taste any of the cookie dough while I bake!

christmas cookies

Well, maybe just a tiny taste. So I know it's good to go. And how will I know if the icing needs more sugar if I don't try it? And how can I offer cookies to other people if I don't know what they taste like?

3. I'll only have Starbucks this one time!

starbucks

It's a special occasion. It's a Tuesday and I don't have the energy to work today. It's three o'clock and I'm falling asleep. My friend wants to meet up and she only has half an hour to talk. They just got a new chestnut latte flavor. Whoops.

4. I'm going to start exercising before work!

sleeping in

Oh, are you? You're getting out of your warm bed at 6am and heading outside? You're going to bed at 10, when your boss is still texting you and your dinner is still a rock in your stomach, so you're able to get up in the morning? Okay.

5. I'll just say no to extra sweets!

peppermint bark

Why not? It's not like there's peppermint bark at work… and chocolate turtles at Grandma's house… and free pretzel samples at the mall… and candy canes FREAKING EVERYWHERE.

6. I'm only going to drink once or twice!

drinking wine

But you have to have a third glass of wine with your high school girlfriends or they'll think you're blowing them off. And you have to have a shot at the company Christmas party so they don't think you're too good for them. And it's too hilarious that your dad wants to have a few beers with you….

7. Once I start my run, I won't even notice that it's snowing!

running in snow

Except I will. Because it's SNOWING. And I'm SLIPPING. And I'm DYING.

8. I'm going to get my money's worth with my gym membership!

working out

Because there's so much extra time to kill when the days end at five o'clock and the malls close at nine and the family stuff starts at eight! And it's so easy to hop in the car when you just have to shovel one little driveway! And it's so fun to run next to strangers when it's the time of year you're supposed to hang with your family!

9. I'll just go easy on the snacks to make room for big indulgences!

eating snacks

Who needs movie theater popcorn? Who needs nachos with your out-of-town friends? who needs those red and green M&Ms that you used to engulf as a little kid? Oh, that's right. You do.

10. I'm gonna get a head start on my New Year's resolution!

new year's 2014

If you just start making a few little changes to your routine now, you're guaranteed to… get completely sick of it by New Year's Eve and totally quit.

11. I'm gonna stick with my New Year's resolution!

new year's resolutions

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

All photos via Shutterstock

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