Gwyneth Paltrow Wants To Sell You A $75 One-Shouldered Yoga Top
Do y'all get GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow's much-maligned weekly lifestyle letter? GOOP is basically the laughingstock of the internet, frequently skewered and satirized because of its tone-deaf content and dizzying disregard for anyone who doesn't live the kind of uberprivileged life that Gwynnie leads. This week, Gwyneth is letting us in on some of her ridiculously impractical and expensive suggestions for the holiday season.
It's honestly pretty amusing that the Thanksgiving edition of GOOP was totally and completely devoted to consumerism. I mean, I get that the “real meaning” of Thanksgiving (whatever that is, AMIRITE Native Americans?) is becoming lost in a swirl of Black Friday-ready shoppers anyway, but the isn't the supposed-to-be-above-the-concerns-of-the-masses GOOP better than that? Guess not, because the newsletter basically tells you to get a head start on your holiday shopping, ladies! And make sure you do that by giving money to Gwyneth herself. By buying an expensive one-shouldered yoga top she helped to design.
Of the top, she writes:
Also, I've always wanted a one shouldered exercise top and could never find one so we've collaborated with BEYOND YOGA (who make really chic, comfortable, perfect exercise gear) to make my dream top!
The top costs $75 and is only available on goop.com. The price is clearly ridiculous, but am I the only person who thinks a one-shouldered exercise top is the dumbest thing ever? I mean…what's the point? When you're working out, you want to keep everything “in order,” if you will. Unless it has a built-in bra made of steel, I can't see how a one-shouldered top is going to be practical in down dog, during a headstand, or during any other kind of activity other than standing up completely straight. It may look pretty, but I doubt it's good for actual exercise.
As for other fitness gear, she also suggests a SoulCycle bike for the man in your life. SoulCycle's bikes retail for about $2,200 (and the company itself has been widely criticized for its $30 per class price tag). So practical! So affordable!
Obviously, GOOP caters to a specific audience and isn't obligated to provide product suggestions to those of us without country homes and drawerfuls of cashmere sweaters and black AmEx cards. There are people out there who want to spend their money on a $75 top, who feel like the aspirational satisfaction of a Gwyneth-approved product is worth it. And more power to them, I guess.
It's the actress and the company I take issue with, as many have done before me; I just can't stop marveling at the continuation of this out-of-touch content, especially during the upcoming holiday season. In a country where the economy sucks, the unemployment rate is at 7.9%, and thousands of people still do not have power after Hurricane Sandy, it pisses me off that Gwyneth Paltrow is hawking $75 tops you're meant to sweat in. It's bad enough that she's been suggesting crazily expensive products for the four years GOOP has been running, but now that she's presumably in on the profits for the products she “collaborates” on, she's gone well beyond “out of touch” territory and firmly into the land of classless and tacky.