Well Being

Domino’s Replaces Pizza Crusts With Fried Chicken, Pretends Like That’s In Any Way Okay

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specialty chickenWarning: The news I'm about to tell you is not for the faint of heart.

Domino's Pizza is coming out with a new menu item. Starting on April 21, you'll be able to order a little something grotesquely named “Specialty Chicken” at the pizza chain. What is Specialty Chicken exactly? It's a pizza, but with breaded and boneless chicken instead of a crust. GASP. Quelle horreur. 

According to KLTV,  this despicable atrocity is comprised of “12 pieces of boneless chicken and includes layers of Domino's sauces, cheeses and pizza toppings to create four varieties of the item.” The four flavor options will be Crispy Bacon & Tomato, Spicy Jalapeno-Pineapple, Classic Hot Buffalo and Sweet BBQ Bacon.

Here's what Domino's Pizza chief marketing officer Russell Weiner had to say about their crime against pizza:

“Our new Specialty Chicken is one of the most creative, innovative menu items we've ever had.

Our pizza chefs have taken chicken to a whole new level, using our unique ingredients to create these four bold flavors.”

Oh, so they're proud of this obscene disgrace. I suppose the word “creative” is an apt description, though this is not a positive use of creativity. Chicken didn't need to be taken to a whole new level.

What kind of deranged monsters would do this to pizza? This is an abomination. I think it's safe to say that Domino's is playing God here and the creators of this despicable assault to nature will suffer for their hubris.

H/T KLTV// Photos: Dominoes

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