Well Being

Crazy Author Says Sex Without Orgasm Is Better For Relationships…And Some Men Agree

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Have you heard of karezza? It's a form of sex that does not include orgasm. As a matter of fact, couple are instructed to stay as far away from the edge of climax as possible. So what's the point we want to know? According to one author–and testimonies from men!–it's actually more beneficial to your relationship.

Marnia Robinson, author of  Cupid's Poisoned Arrow was on ABC News talking about the best ways to heal and strengthen our sexual relationships. Her advice? Have sex, but don't orgasm. Some women may be able to relate to this concept, but surprisingly enough, there are some men who are actually not so hot and bothered by this technique.

One such 51-year-old guy, Matt Cook, hasn't had an orgasm in seven months, and he's happy about it. He's been married for 25 years and told ABC that his sex life is more exciting now than ever, including sex every day.

It creates a deep feeling in a relationship that is very difficult to describe–much deeper than conventional sex. It kind of never ends. Why would I want to give that up for a 15-second orgasm?

Fifty-six year old Darryl Keil agrees. Niether he nor his wife has has had an “intentional” orgasm (yes, sometimes it happens by mistake) for the last eight years. His definition of traditional sex is, funny enough: “lick, pump, squirt, snore.” But now, somehow without the goal of reaching an orgasm, he and his wife feel like equals in the bedroom and are also having sex every day.

It's really alive, great sex with great feeling. The pleasure goes up another level … You follow the sensation in your body, not the stimulation.

Admittedly, Keil says his male friends don't understand this at all.

It's just hard to get men to want to skip orgasms. One guy said to me, you want me to climb 10,000 feet up Mt. Everest and not get to the top?

The idea of karezza is to eliminate the pressure of “mission accomplished” in the bedroom, says Robinson.

Even for those with the highest libidos, performance can become a grind and drive a craving for novelty. Such feelings, although perfectly natural, can create projections and resentment that cause disharmony, especially after our temporary honeymoon neurochemistry wears off.

Instead, she wants us to do more cuddling, caressing and touching.

It's a practice about not doing, about getting your goal-driven mammalian mating system out of the way long enough to fall into a state of relaxed union.

It's a radical idea, for sure. Like, what's the point of sex without orgasm? Wouldn't that take all the fun out of the bedroom?

It seems kinda crazy to us. But we want to know what you think: Would you try this in your relationship?

 

Photo: shutterstock.com

 

 

 

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