Well Being

Bud Light Is Looking Out for Frat Boys Everywhere with New Cocktail-Flavored Beer Line

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Just when you thought unrefined taste could sink no lower than Bud Light, Bud Light proves you wrong.

Every bro's favorite beer company has begun to roll out a line of cocktail-inspired beers, perfect for the cheapskates who are too frugal (re: douchey) to shell out money for an actual drink. According to a press release, the new line, MIXXTAIL, was created based on America's favorite cocktail flavors. According to Bud Light and That Frat Boy Puking On The Street, that allegedly includes “Long Island, Firewalker, and Hurricane.” Give. Me. A. Break. If you're going to consume something that tastes like a Long Island Iced Tea without the obvious benefit of having seven types of liquor flowing through your bloodstream, you should just stick to water.

The mocktail beers, or the “perfect pregame in a bottle” according to the press release, are all 8 percent ABV. MIXXTAILS (all caps!) will be available in 11.5 ounce single serve cans and resealable aluminum bottles. Hear that, Sigma Chi? You can bring your pregame with you to the tailgate! Chug, chug, chug!

Nice try, Bud Light. The rest of civilized society would just as soon stick to our wine.