Well Being

Teen Turned Away From Prom Because Her Breasts Are Big (BTW: I Know How You Feel, Girl)

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Brittany Minder of Silverdale prom big breasts

When Brittany Minder of Silverdale, Washington, found her dream senior prom dress, she was thrilled. She loved its beading, style and cut, but when she showed up at Central Kitsap High School's dance, she was turned away. Why? Because she was baring cleavage.

“In my opinion, I feel that it is because I'm bigger chested and there is more cleavage that you can see, and there's nothing I could really do about that,” said Brittany to KATU News. Eventually, she was let in on the condition she put on a shawl, but given the embarrassment and frustration, she left after just an hour — not nearly enough time to have the beautiful prom experience she deserved.

The school's code says girls can wear strapless dresses provided the cleavage, midriff and lower back are not showing. However, this inherently discriminates against certain women's sizes. For example, if a girl has a size 30A, she can wear a much lower-cut dress than, say, a girl with 36DD breasts (hi, myself) whose chest forms cleavage simply by existing.

“A girl like Brittany should not have to go to a dance in a burlap sack because she's large busted,” Brittany's father Gary Minder said. “It's ridiculous.”

“All women are not created equal,” said her mother Kim, “and you can not compare a golf ball to a grapefruit. It ain't gonna happen.

Fun story: Last Halloween, I visited my friends in California and we went out to a bar I had been to for years before. I was friendly with the bartenders, as well as the bouncer, who had always taken a liking to my blue hair. Two of my friends wore low-cut black leotards and another wore short jean shorts with an open plaid shirt tied in a knot, while I wore a leotard like this one, but black, with a floor-length high-waisted skirt. Basically, we all had quite a bit of exposed cleavage, as did everybody else at the bar (it's a college town, if that explains anything).

As we went in, the bouncer pulled me aside and told me I had to figure out a way to cover up mine because “guys would get ideas about those things.” “Those things,” if you couldn't guess, were my tits. No matter that my thinner, less-busty friends didn't even have the lace cover that I did over 'em, or that there were women literally wearing bikini tops, only occasionally covered with fur boleros or denim vests, all over the bar. He singled out nobody else; just me and my “things.” I wound up having to cover up my costume with a white feather boa wrapped around almost all of my top half, similar to Brittany's shawl.

So, basically Brittany — who I will pretend is reading this, but it also goes for anybody else who's ever experienced shame about their chest size — I know how you feel. But fuck those people, because you deserve to wear whatever dress you love. Cleavage is not vulgar, just as smaller-sized chests are not something to feel bad over, either.

There's this ridiculous idea that small breasts are “fashionable” while larger ones should be covered up more. Side boob is all over the red carpet, frequently deemed glamorous and sexy, while larger breasts are so often considered “slutty” or crass. There are all different sizes of breasts that fit in all different ways in clothing; it doesn't mean that they deserve to be treated like part of their body is inferior to another's due to size.

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