Forget The Travel Ban, These New Yorker’s Twitter Reactions To The Kale Shortage Are Hysterical
As a kid, snow days were about staying home, making snow angels, drinking hot chocolate and eating crap. As an adult, snow days are about staying home, making snow angels, drinking spiked hot chocolate, and eating crap — at least, I thought they were. Apparently, a bunch of New Yorkers have the wrong idea about how to formally conduct the #Blizzardof2015 — a day off from corporate life during which they can do WHATEVER THEY PLEASE. And work in sweatpants!
These New Yorkers are dead set in their hipster ways. To prepare for Blizzard Juno, they’ve flocked to the store to pick up heaping mounds of kale. Yes, KALE. So many New Yorkers believe kale is vital to surviving a snowstorm, in fact, that the historic blizzard has caused a shortage of the leafy green.
That’s right, a kale shortage. Never mind the bread, milk and other necessities typically needed for being shut inside during a snowstorm. New Yorkers need their organic superfoods!
On Monday, health-obsessed New Yorkers took to Twitter to voice their concerns over the very serious issue. If you're stuck at home (re: the travel ban), here are some people freaking the F out, and others just making fun, of this ‘crisis' that you can laugh over — in 140 characters or less.
— Sarah Merrick (@SarahMMerrick) January 27, 2015
This person, who recognizes #THESTRUGGLEISREAL.
Should we be sending Kale to New York in their time of need? #blizzardof2015 #Snowmageddon2015 — Kingston (@kingstonwrites) January 27, 2015
This person who asks the obvious. (THE ANSWER IS YES, YES PLZ).
BUT WHY IS ALL THE KALE GONE #blizzardof2015 — Rick Hanlon II (@rickhanlonii) January 27, 2015
This guy, embodying his inner Johnny Depp.
— Broccoli Growers (@BroccoliGrowers) January 27, 2015
This generic Twitter handle, who congratulates farmers, LOL.
This girl, who asks what we're all really thinking.
Hope all those New Yorkers stocking up on kale bought condoms too. I don't want a bunch of hippie blizzard babies in 9 mos. #blizzardof2015 — Aaron (@a_ryan88) January 27, 2015
This guy, who is just looking out for the future of hipsterism.
Anybody who bought kale in anticipation of the #blizzardof2015 should be sent to Guantanamo.
— Owen Wilson's Nose (@LeutrimRexhaj) January 27, 2015
This guy, who is so not drinking the Kool-Aid (kale-aid?).
This guy, who is afraid for the future of America. I might be, too.
Are they selling black market Kale on Craigslist on the East Coast?? #blizzardof2015 — I'm Alex Posey??? (@Kinda_rational) January 27, 2015
This person, who has a GREAT new business idea.
Sending care packages to friends in Park Slope to get them through #blizzardof2015. Kale, raw water, print out of Pitchfork if Internets out — Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) January 26, 2015
This person who wants to send care packages. Let me say it: Drones.. we need DRONES for care packages!
This person who reveals the way harsh reality of the shortage to their followers.
This guy who calls on celebrities for help.
The blizzard is so beautiful, but I feel really bad for those who have no shelter, heat or kale! Stay strong NY! #SnowZilla #blizzardof2015 — Marija Skangale (@MarijaSkangale) January 27, 2015
This girl, who REALLY feels for New Yorkers. Like, totally sympathizes.
Hearing disturbing reports of panic buying at my local Whole Foods in Manhattan. Praying for UN airdrops of Kale and Quinoa #blizzardof2015 — mark little (@marklittlenews) January 26, 2015
This person who reveals ‘disturbing' reports. Yikes.
The Larchmont Stop n Shop is cleaned out of kale. Pray for us America. #blizzardof2015 — Dan Bova (@DanBova1) January 26, 2015
This person who is seeking prayers (#blessed).
if you're eating kale during #blizzardof2015 then I feel sorry for you and your life. eat some cheese, drink some booze. come on.
— Allison Chopin (@allisonchopin) January 27, 2015
This girl who just wants New Yorkers to get an ‘effin grip. I mean, REALLY?
Subways at noon. And with bridges and tunnels reopened, NYC can breath a sigh of relief as access to kale has been restored. #blizzardof2015
— Mindy Cohen (@NYCmindy) January 27, 2015
This person who breaks good news, and reminds us all will be okay! There is a silver lining. Faith in humanity has been restored.
You can reach Erin Kelly on Twitter: @erinkellysays.
(GIF: via giphy)