Well Being

22 Things You Should Definitely Say To A Skinny Woman

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Pssst, I'm about to say something that isn't dickish.

Emma Gray at the Huffington Post compiled an excellent list of 22 Thing You Should Never Say To A Skinny Woman urging everyone to stop rudely telling people to “eat a hamburger” and that “real women have curves.”

But if we can't tell skinny women that we hate them or make wild accusations about their mental health, what's left to say? Here's a list of alternate things to say if you find yourself in the company of a skinny person:

  • 1. Instead of “You look anorexic!” you should say “You look like you deserve a high five!”
  • 2. Instead of “You're so thin, you make me sick.” you should say “Don't get too close to me, I have a cold.”
  • 3. Instead of “Eat a hamburger!” you should say “I'm hungry, wanna get lunch?”
  • 4. Instead of “You look like a toothpick.” you should say “Do I have anything in my teeth?”
  • 5. Instead of “You're probably too skinny to breastfeed.” you should say “I'm not thinking about your breasts at all right now.”
  • 6. Instead of “Do you ever eat anything?” you should say “I don't care about your eating habits.”
  • 7. Instead of “Must be nice to be so thin.” you should say “I think you're beautiful.”
  • 8. Instead of “Do you have an eating disorder?” you should say “Do you have any gum?”
  • 9. Instead of “You'd look so much better if you'd just put some meat on your bones.” you should say “You look great when people aren't deliberately making you feel bad about your body/”
  • 10. Instead of “You're too healthy.” you should say “You're too good at being a friend!”
  • 11. Instead of “How can you be insecure when you're so small?” you should say “I'm sorry you feel insecure, I think you look bangin', but I know my opinion is irrelevant.”
  • 12. Instead of “You know, my other friend just got help for her bulimia.” you should say “I'm not going to talk about my other friends' private matters with you.”
  • 13. Instead of “You're so skinny, I hate you.” you should say “Wouldn't it be weird and irrational if I told you I hated you because of your weight?”
  • 14. Instead of “Do you need help?” you should say “Can you help me with my math homework?”
  • 15. Instead of “You're skinny. You never have to worry about what you eat.” you should say “Thank you for not commenting on my diet.”
  • 16. Instead of “‘Real' women have curves.” you should say “Real women are real women regardless of their body type.”
  • 17. Instead of “Why do you need to work out? You're skinny!” you should say “Let's do yoga together.”
  • 18. Instead of “How much did it cost to get your body like that?” you should say “How much would it cost me if I treated you with absolutely no kindness or respect right now?”
  • 19. Instead of “Of course you're cold! You have no fat on you.” you should say “Here take my scarf.”
  • 20. Instead of “I wish I had your problem.” you should say “War is a serious problem.”
  • 21. Instead of “Be careful or you'll get blown away.” (On rainy or windy days.) you should say “I understand gravity because I'm an adult.”
  • 22. Instead of “You look like a boy.” you should just fuck off if you even think that kind of thing about a person.

Essentially, just don't comment on other people's bodies.

The 22 things you shouldn't say via Huffington Post//Image via Shutterstock