Well Being

Sex Positions Inspired By The 12 Days Of Christmas

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sex christmasIf you have no idea what to give your true love for Christmas, why not take inspiration from the old Twelve Days of Christmas song that's in everyone's head? Only instead of buying your lover a bunch of birds like some sort of maniac, give them sex moves inspired by the tune. Just like in the song, each day you have to enact a new move and repeat the ones from previous days.

Here are 12 sex positions and moves to try when you're really looking to give it to your true love (psssst…”it” means sex):

“A partridge in a pear tree”– On the first day of Christmas give it to your true love with this move. The partridge in a pear tree is cunnilingus with a festive twist. Your crotch is the metaphorical pear tree and they are the partridge. Cut up a pear and place the pieces on your area for your partner to eat off like a bird. That means no hands allowed.

“Two turtle doves”– On the second day of Christmas give it to your true love by doing the turtle doves: straddle your lover while he is crouched on the bed or floor, try to balance while both of you keeps your arms folded in (like you're doing the chicken dance) and beating your “wings” as you pump. Make like two turtle doves and hump.

“Three french hens”– This isn't so much a position as it is a little twist to spice sex up a bit. On the third day of Christmas give it to your true love in your usual positions, but all dirty talk must be in French. Ooh lala.

“Four calling birds”– Similar to the one above, it's just an exciting trick. On the fourth day of Christmas give it to your true love and as loud as possible no matter how impolite it is to your roommates, neighbors, parents, or whoever else.

“Five golden rings”– On the fifth day of Christmas give it to your true love in any clitorally stimulation position, but slip on some gold colored cock rings for more yuletide pleasure.

“Six geese a laying”– On the sixth day of Christmas give it to your true love with the move we call the “geese a laying.” This position is yet another cunnilingus variation. The receiver sits like a goose laying an egg on their partner's face.

“Seven swans a swimming”– On the seventh day of Christmas give it to your true love underwater.

“Eight maids a milking”– On the eighth day of Christmas give it to your true love and make sure your titties are very accessible (aka you on top) because it's a day of breast play. Your partner is the maid and you are being a-milked.

“Nine ladies dancing”– Ok, this is a foreplay move to do right before you give it to your true love on the ninth day of Christmas: dance for your lover. You can do any dance you want: the twist, the frug, the tarantella, or a sexy dance–it's really up to you.

“Ten lords a leaping”– On the tenth day of Christmas give it to your true love and have your partner hoist you in the air while you split your legs like you are leaping.

“Eleven pipers piping”– On the eleventh day of Christmas give it to your true love with classic fellatio, you are the piper piping, his member the pipe.

“Twelve drummers drumming”- On the twelfth day of Christmas give it to your true love in the drummers drumming position: you lay on your back with your legs up, instead of resting them on their shoulders, have them grab your ankles and pretend they're drumsticks.

And again with the partridge in the pear tree.

Image via Shutterstock

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