Well Being

10 Reasons To (NOT) Take A Break From Sex

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10 Reasons To  NOT  Take A Break From Sex alloy default image jpgIn one of the more overtly sex-negative and slut-shamey pieces of blogging I’ve seen on the Huffington Post, writer Brenda Della Casa outlines 10 Reasons To Take A Break From Sex. I think taking a breather and not engaging in sex for awhile can be good, but it’s a highly personal choice.

In the post, Della Casa crosses the line between reassuring people that it’s okay to abstain and implying that sex is bad and so are the people who do it. There are many real reasons to take a break from sex, but the ones listed are all terrible.The best reason to take a sexual sabbatical is because you want to–honestly, it’s the sole reason you need. Any other rationalization is unnecessary and judgmental.

Let’s go over each of the allegedly “sexy” reasons not to have sex:

“1. You’re worth far too much to sneak home in last night’s clothes, wondering what that acrobatic person’s last name was.”

Your self worth has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday or whether or not you know your last sex partner’s name.

2. Imagine taking a little longer to get to know someone before you drop your knickers and avoiding that, “Gee, if I knew this last week, I would not have slept with you,” feeling.

Imagine not patronizing people and guilting them for their decisions.

“3. Contrary to popular belief, sex with someone new does not cure past heartaches. Better to give that heart time to heal before you let someone else in your bed.”

Never ever tell me what is better for me than my own choices. The way I cope with heartache is none of your GD business.

“4. Yes, sex is yummy but flirtations and sexual tension can be utterly delicious. Enjoy them a while!”

What a gross and juvenile way of describing sex and flirtations. Icky icky yuck yuck.

“5. You can wear your comfy cotton undies on dates and your date will be none the wiser.”

You can wear those cotton undies on sex-dates too. Maybe don’t sleep with people who judge you by your underwear.

“6. There is something to be said about totally selfish self love. Take yourself on dates, wear sexy unmentionables (for your eyes only) and, at the end of the evening, if you’re so inclined, get to know yourself a little better.”

There is a lot to be said about totally selfish self love. For example: don’t let weirdos on the internet tell you that sex is wrong and bad and you don’t love yourself if you have it.

“7. STDs just love casual sex.”

Screw you. STDs love all sex, not just casual sex.

“8. You know that pile of clothes in your bedroom that you keep meaning to pick up and wash? Yeah, you don’t have to do that just yet.”

Is this lady honestly telling the reader to clean instead of have sex? Some people manage to do their laundry and have sex. Time management! Imagine that!

“9. Finding new ways to get excited and be intimate with yourself or someone new can be incredible. Cooking, dancing, painting, talking, exercising — the possibilities are endless. Get to know your body, your likes and dislikes, things that turn you on and off and heighten your senses in other ways for a while.”

How long is “a while?” When will you give me permission to have sex again? Your permission is critical.

“10. When it does happen, it will be because you really, really want it to. Now, that’s sexy.”

I never do anything I don’t really, really want to do and to imply otherwise is patronizing.

Can you believe this nonsense was written in 2014? I’m surprised there wasn’t a “you’ll never find a husband if you’re a loose woman” tucked away in there.

Image via Shutterstock

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