Merry Christmas Katy Perry! You Have A Secret Half-Sister!

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Great news for therapists in the Los Angeles area! Katy Perry has a secret half-sister named Jodi Hudson. Looks like her dad Lohaned around a bit in his early days and pulled the ole conceivin ‘n ignorin trick. It's a common play used by clever fathers and you can read all about it in Michael Lohan's book, “How to Tell Your Estranged Children That You're Estranged From Some Secret Children.”

While it's completely unclear how long Katy Perry's  known about her older half-sister Jodi Hudson, it sounds like Jodi knew about Katy for awhile. Awkward.

As always, Radar Online has the scoop on what went down in Dysfunctional Family Town:

It appears that his estranged oldest child had been on Keith's mind lately, prompting him to make a YouTube video advising parents, “Don't close the door on your children.” Hearing those words appalled Jodi, and the neglected daughter posted a scathing response saying: “This man is preaching something he should have done himself.”

“I broke down when I saw that video,” the Las Vegas resident told Star magazine in her first-ever exclusive interview. “He completely abandoned me when I was a child and has had almost nothing to do with me throughout my life,” she said, adding that it is because of Keith that she and her famous half-sister are virtual strangers.

And now we're entering Lifetime Movie Network territory. Ugh Keith Hudson, what's your deal man? Why are you (allegedly) such a bad dad?

Also, poor Katy Perry! She's already had a rough year family-wise with her divorce from Russell Brand — and now she's forced to deal with this drama. The girl just wants to sing and squirt whipped cream out of her boobs. I doubt she wants to be a poster child for people with secret half-sisters.

Mostly because that's Lindsay Lohan's schtick and she would hate to steal if from her.

(Photo: PacificCoastNews.com)