Dating Apps Suck — But Some Are Definitely Worse Than Others (For Women In Particular)

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Navigating the dating scene in 2017 is hard, especially since technology and dating apps have added a completely new element to it. Like, honestly, is finding the potential love of your life online even possible? And if it is, will we feel no shame telling our future grandkids we met on a hookup app?! Alas, that seems to be the point we’re at whether we like it or not.

While there have been a few success stories when it comes to relationships that started out in cyberspace, more often than not straight women are just coming upon a bunch of really immature and horny dudes who are only interested in a one-night-stand… which works for some women but does not work for others.


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There are multiple sites created with the sole purpose of revealing dating horror stories that women have experienced on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge/etc. That’s not even to mention the countless viral photos that circulate depicting the awful, terrible, cringe-worthy and awkward sexual messages women received when first striking up a conversation with someone on dating apps. SPOiLER ALERT, BOYS: Pretty much no girl wants to receive a dick pic straight off the bat, or some strange sext talking about your manhood! I don’t know how many different ways we can say it, but the awkwardly-angled and way-too-close-up photo of your junk is not turning us on and we also deserve a warning before opening up that sh*t on our phones!

It’s like street harassment — but on the web

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When it comes to dating, there is no one formula that works for everyone considering everybody is probably looking for something slightly different — that’s what makes actually finding love on Tinder or any of the other sites something like striking gold or finding a well in a desert. Some are looking for friendship (or so they claim, tbh these people just seem sketchy), others are searching for random hookups and FWBs, and then there are those who are looking for something more ~consistent~, like a longterm relationship or at least a casual dating scenario with promise for future bliss. (Not that we’re getting ahead of ourselves, of course.) And if you only want a bit of fun, then, by all means, enjoy swiping left or right — but be warned that there are a few dating apps out there that women should definitely proceed with caution on, particularly because of their reputation for excessive harassment on female users.

A 2016 study from Consumer’s Research revealed that 57 percent of women who use dating apps have experienced some form of harassment while trying their hand at the online dating game, and Tinder seems to be the worst offender — which makes sense considering that also according to their research, it’s the most popular app.

Also according to the results, 39 percent of Tinder users have felt personally harassed, while OKCupid comes in at a close second, with 38 percent. No big shocker here (hopefully), but women are harassed in so many ways during their daily lives, and just like walking down the street can result in catcalling, inappropriate touching, and intimidation, our dating apps seem to be replicating the same phenomenon.

Obviously paid-for dating sites geared towards more serious users of all ages like Match and eHarmony show more respectful users looking for stronger connections, but if you’re not ready to take the plunge into those ~serious~ websites, sites like Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel tend to be people not just looking for a hookup — though you will probably find at least a few of those lurkers no matter what — and usually we can see a correlation between what the dude’s looking for and, let’s just say, their approach to women on these sites.

Replicating Real Life?

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Business Insider

Another issue with online dating in general is that the criteria we use to filter out potential suitors (i.e. age restrictions or even height minimums and caps on certain apps — looking at you, CMB) could be eliminating a person that you can really connect with based on something arbitrary. Then again, that’s kind of what we’re doing every day at the bar or a party, where we ignore people who don’t fit the standards we set in our minds for what we’re looking for in a partner. Much of the daily life of a single person is spent mentally swiping left or right on the people we see on the street, the difference is that there’s nothing to notify both parties that they’re both interested — physically, at least.

But an even bigger difference is, are you really going to say ‘no’ to a potential bae because they’re 5’6 as opposed to 5’7, or if they’re turning 25 next month, though you said you’d never date a guy in his early twenties again? The answer for some will be “uh, yeah” and that’s totally alright. Have high standards, girl! We love it. But it just goes to show that if we’ve GOT to be on dating apps (and for a lot of us, we do), it’s all about choosing the right one for our needs and being thoughtful about the cyber-standards we set.