Scarlett Johansson’s Engaged To A Normal!

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Scarlett Johansson Venice International film festival red carpet

Just when I thought that Troop Beverly Hills' recent resurgence on cable TV would be the highlight of this week, Scarlett Johansson got engaged to a normal named Romain Dauriac. Well, according to People's sources, she actually got engaged about a month ago. But she didn't reveal the big news until this week at the Venice International Film Festival when she wore an engagement ring on the red carpet. Also, before wicked rumors get started she also wore a dress on the red carpet. Presumably shoes as well — but our podiatry insiders haven't confirmed that yet.

While we don't know much about Mr. Dauriac, we do know that he's a French journalist from a small provincial town with an insatiable appetite for books. One time he gave himself — body and soul — to a beast. But then last year he woke up and said, “you know what, I can do better than a literal beast” and stormed out of the enchanted castle. He sold the story to The Daily Mail and lived happily ever after in a rent-stabilized apartment in Tribeca.

Oh wait, I'm sorry, I'm thinking of Beauty and the Beast fan fiction story I recently entered in a contest. While Romain is a muggle and a French journalist, he did not (and mostly likely will not) have relations with a beast. He does however look like the kind of  handsome man who would befriend a talking candelabra though.

Our good friends at People claim that there's no wedding date in mind yet — which everyone knows is a classic way of self-soothing when you haven't received a save the date yet. Whether or not this is true, we do not know. However we can confirm right here and right now that there's nothing more magical in the entire world than the wedding of a celebrity to a normal. May they always enjoy a life that's filled with red carpets as well as Red Lobsters.

(Photo: Daziram/Future Image/