How Not to Lose Yourself in a New Relationship

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Walt Disney

If you’re anything like me, you’re a little addicted to the feeling of falling in love with someone else. And who isn’t, really — it’s a beautiful thing. You’re getting to know someone, your stomach is full of butterflies constantly and you feel like your whole body is on fire for hours on end. There’s nothing like it!

But making a relationship last is about more than spending all your time with someone and grinning at the thought of them, no matter how fun it may be. It’s really easy to lose yourself or lose sight of what it is you’re like as an individual, as you’re throwing yourself into the butterflies and the heat of it all.

Fortunately, there are some things you can do, if you’re especially self-aware, to keep your old self and personality intact while navigating a new relationship. And if you wake up from the honeymoon phase one day and realize you don’t recognize yourself, don’t worry. You can come back from this.

1. Maintain your friendships


One of the biggest signs you’re letting a new relationship consume you is if you lose contact with your friends. Everyone expects it for a little while, and it’s okay to not be as available if you’re getting serious with someone — but you need to put in conscious effort to stay connected with your friends who, in all honesty, are going to be around for a lot longer and through much worse.

First, do it because you owe them. Second, do it because you need them. They can give you a much-needed reality check on how you’ve been acting, a breath of fresh air when you’ve been obsessed with one person and a reminder that you’re a complete person on your own.