Kaley Cuoco Is Getting Divorced, Should Have Stayed With Superman

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Kaley Cuoco Is Getting Divorced  Should Have Stayed With Superman Ryan Sweeting and Kaley Cuoco attending Emmy Awards August 2014 jpg

Either the Summer of Celebrity Splits is extending into fall or Kaley Cuoco and Ryan Sweeting just procrastinated. Either way, they’re getting a divorce. “Wait a second,” you’re probably thinking, “didn’t they just get married, like, 21 months ago?” Yes, they did. But they had a short courtship before the marriage, having only met six months before, so I guess they wanted to keep up the tradition.

Here’s the statement Kaley’s rep gave to People on Friday about the split. Don’t worry if you’re in a hurry and don’t have time to read it; it’s exactly the same as every other celebrity divorce announcement in the history of celebrity divorces.

“Kaley Cuoco and Ryan Sweeting have mutually decided to end their marriage. They ask for privacy at this time. No further statement will be issued regarding this matter.”

This news doesn’t exactly come out of nowhere. In fact, it was sort of expected. Not only are they a celebrity couple, but they’re a celebrity couple who got married very fast. They’ve also been the subject of split rumors for months. Kaley kind of sealed their fate when she took to Instagram earlier this year to post a guarantee, accompanied by forced kissy photos, that they were still very much in love. Kaley, don’t you know the first rule of divorce rumors? Never protest too much, lady!

It’s a damn shame Kaley and Henry Cavill broke up. They were such a real, genuine, authentic, not-at-all-staged-for-PR couple. They were so good at grocery shopping together. So in sync carrying those bags. She should call up her publicist… er, I mean matchmaker, and try to get that started up again.

At the very least, she should figure out a way to explain that wedding date tattoo she got on the back of her neck. You know, think of something else that happened on that day that was really memorable besides getting married. Ryan has a little more work to do, considering he has that huge ink of Kaley’s name on his arm. He should probably just date Kaleys for the rest of his life.

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