Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Girlfriend Is Definitely Smarter Than You, So You Can Stop Trying

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Joseph Gordon Levitt Oscars Vanity Fair party March 2014

If you were planning to one day bump into Joseph Gordon-Levitt and wow him with your memorization of all the U.S. presidents or your ability to add large numbers without a calculator or your encyclopedic knowledge of Full House episodes, you can go ahead and file that pipe dream away under “Things That Are Never Ever Gonna Happen.” Joseph Gordon-Levitt has finally gone public with his girlfriend, and she is quite the smarty-pants.

Joseph admitted he was dating someone non-famous last year, and so it really could have been any of us. But now we know that her name is Tasha McCauley, and she and Joseph were photographed together earlier this week in the parking lot of a Los Angeles grocery store. And if we've learned anything from Kaley Cuoco and Henry Cavill (RIP), it's that grocery store parking lots are serious relationship territory. The fact that JGL now seems to be officially, unabashedly taken might already have you feeling sad, but once you hear her brain credentials, you're going to feel even sadder.

Tasha is the CEO of robotics company Fellow Robots, which is based in NASA's Research Park in Silicon Valley and works with telepresence technologies. There were no TV character names in that sentence so I am unfortunately unable to help you figure out what that means. But I will continue to make you feel like a dumb-dumb by informing you that Tasha speaks English, Arabic and Spanish, and she founded the 10^9 Foundation to inspire students, and she taught a class in “rapidly accelerating technologies” at Singularity University. I think I need to go lie down and reevaluate my life now. That A+ English paper I've been carrying around in case of a sudden JGL meet-cute is looking pretty lame right now.

And if you want to feel even worse, make sure you take a look at those photos, because she can totally rock the boots-and-a-lightweight-dress-in-spring look. Damnit.

(Photo: Brian To/