Joe Jonas Might Marry Blanda Eggenschwiler, And I Wish Upon A Star He Takes Her Name

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Joe Jonas Blanda Eggenschwiler May 2013

When the news broke that Joe Jonas was dating a woman named Blanda Eggenschwiler, the entire world uttered a simultaneous, “What's that now?” as we figured we'd heard something wrong. But no, that's really her name. It's real, and it's spectacular. I would like to thank Switzerland for creating such a name. Now we're wondering if Joe will take Blanda's last name (and her first name too, while we're at it) if they get married. And it's possible they will, according to a new report.

“Joe definitely is in love and has had the conversation about marriage with his brother [Kevin Jonas] who has a successful marriage,” the source explains. “He has been talking about it with Blanda as well.”

The source adds, “But if an engagement happens it might be after their tour. But it’s definitely in the cards. They love each other quite a bit.”

Can't you just picture Joe Jonas doodling in his Jonas Brothers song-writing notebook, “Mr. Blanda Eggenschwiler. Joe Eggenschwiler. Joe Jonas-Eggenschwiler. Joseph Cornelius Eggenschwiler III.” That last one doesn't make much sense, but I like to think he might write it. Sure, it's not typical for the husband to take the wife's last name, but Joe is open-minded enough to draw a correlation between “pom-poms” and boobies, so maybe he's open-minded enough for this. But really, I'd just be okay with Blanda keeping her maiden name and passing it on to their future children. That name should continue. I realize she's not the only Eggenschwiler in the world, but we're much more likely to hear about her and Joe's Eggenschwiler children than any other Eggenschwiler children, and I'd like to hear that name as much as possible.

If Joe does propose to Blanda, it'll be hard to top the invitation he put together for that college girl on The Today Show. Instant classic. I look forward to watching Married to Eggenschwiler on E! next season.