Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner Break Up, Choosing Not To Renew Their Contract

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Harry Styles Kendall Jenner driving togetherThrow away your commemorative Hendall cake plates, fly the flag at half-mast, and make sure you're sitting down right now, because I have some bad news. Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner have reportedly broken up. Of course, one must ask if it's even possible to break up if your relationship wasn't real in the first place, but of course Hollywood Life is too polite to make that suggestion. In a report that could very well be as imaginary as this relationship seems to have been, their source claims that Harry already knew it wouldn't last, because he has a big One Direction tour coming up.

“They both knew it had an expiration date with their schedules so they didn’t fall hard into something more serious.”

I can only assume that “expiration date” refers to the date their fakelationship contract runs out, in which case yeah, they probably could predict that it wouldn't last. I mean, Harry already checked off “skiing” and “meeting the fam” from his to-do list. What else is there to do? Apparently Kendall wasn't as aware that things were coming to a close, however:

“Kendall had a gleam of hope but she wasn’t his dream girl and his schedule was his out, he could have let it continue but it was his decision to move on.”

Are we sure Kendall didn't just have a “gleam of hope” because no one told her the correct end date for this? Is she sitting at home right now going on and on about how great Harry is, while North and Penelope roll their eyes at her? Someone please inform her so she can stop wasting her breath. And then get her Taylor Swift's phone number so she can begin her post-Harry-Styles training.

According to Hollywood Life‘s source, however, there's still the possibility of “future hookups,” an idea that I'm willing to bet Harry Styles responded to with the following words: “Ha. Hahahahaha. Haha. Sure.” Good luck, you crazy kids. You had a good run. I look forward to discovering who the next lucky lady is. Unfortunately I'll probably have to wait until December 7.