A Case Against Generic Valentine’s Day Gifts

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Can we all just agree that Valentine's Day is the most headache-y holiday of the year? Not to sound like a jerk (because I also hate New Years and Halloween gives me a panic attack), but every time it gets close to February 14th – relationship or no – I just want to tell everyone in the world to shut up.

Articles on how to plan the perfect Valentine's Day with your lover are horrible and cliched. Articles about how great it is to be single on Valentine's Day reek of desperation. Why do you have to have an Anti-Valentine's Day party, ladies? To celebrate how much you are anti-love? Not cool. I'm sorry you are lonely, and I'm sorry for people in relationships who stress out about what to get one another, but if you have to spend more than 20 minutes thinking of something unique to your partner that they would enjoy in a pleasant, no-pressure way to celebrate this day, than you guys probably won't work out anyway.

I don't care if you suck at buying presents. If these items ever come across the table during Valentine's Day, they will be thrown out the window. There is nothing worse than generic Valentines, so here is my helpful list of replacement items to buy if we ever find ourselves dating. Not that I care. Dumb holiday.