Kristin Cavallari Says Watching Laguna Beach Season One “Devastated” Her

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It’s not easy having your life documented on reality TV, but it’s even harder when you’re a teenager — and according to Kristin Cavallari, her villain status on Laguna Beach wasn’t quite what the show made it out to be. In an interview with People, Kristin opened up about her time with MTV, and it sounds like her portrayal may have been pretty different than her real-life character.

While talking to the mag, Kristin admitted that when she was in her early 20s, she was “a mess” and has really gained her confidence now that she’s older and a mother of three. But when she was filming Laguna Beach, she was just trying to do what the producers told her to do, and that ended up completely backfiring on her.

“I didn’t know what I was getting into,” Kristin said. “I was just going about my life and doing what producers were asking me to do. When I saw the first season, I was devastated about how I was portrayed.”

That makes sense, because the first season didn’t exactly paint Kristin in a very positive light. From the beginning, she was pitted against Lauren Conrad as they seemingly competed for Stephen Colletti‘s affections, and it was very obvious that viewers were supposed to root against her — and it worked.

“I came across as terribly bitchy,” Kristin added. “And I also felt as though my real-life boyfriend was being put in situations he normally wouldn’t have been in. They were making it seem like there was this love triangle.”

But then, when she had the opportunity to join The Hills and step in as a narrator when Lauren left the show, she took a totally different approach, and it helped her have a much better experience with reality TV.

“I looked at The Hills like a job,” she said. “I had my life on the show, and the lines weren’t blurred. So it was really fun for me. I took control and I had a good experience doing it.”

Now, things are totally different for Kristin and she’s producing a reality show of her own about her life, Very Cavallarion E!, which means she gets to be in the driver’s seat and have more control over how she’s portrayed. Maybe this will help change people’s perceptions of her who are still hanging onto her Laguna Beach villain image? She’s definitely earned a second chance.