Zooey Deschanel Adopts Puppies, Makes Them Promise Not To Be Cuter Than Her

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Zooey Deschanel at Vanity Fair Oscar Party 2013Prepare to be utterly gobsmacked, bamboozled, and confuzzled by cuteness, you ugys, because Zooey Deschanel went and adopted some puppies. We are at a Code Red. Like most puppies, they're almost unbearably adorable, but these ones are even more so because they came from a rescue shelter. Their names are Zelda and Dot, and here is a picture of them being the best:Zooey Deschanel puppies cute pictureAgh! AGHHH. I can't! You guys! I love wiry little mutts like that, and look at the way they're snuggled together! Look at their sleepy eyes and their little noses! I honestly wish you could see the ridiculous faces I'm making right now, because they're very unbecoming to a proper gentlelady, who is supposed to remain calm and composed at all times. It's just hard when I'm looking at such adorable little fuzznuggets on my screen. I'm only human.

Those pups better get their act together right quick, though, because if I know Zooey (and I don't), she's gonna have them signing an affidavit any day now that certifies they'll never be cuter than her. They'll probably have to grow up extra fast into full blown dogs, or get a weird Miley Cyrus haircut or go to rehab or something to tarnish their image. Whatever they decide to do, they can't stay the way they are now, and Zooey knows it. I mean, this is a smart girl; she understands her own brand. She won't ever go back to being awkward and chubby with Rashida Jones, okay?!? She's the off-beat, adorkable, quirky girl now, and as great as these dogs are, they can't be allowed to get in the way of that. So Zelda, Dot — enjoy your moment in the cuteness sun, with the rays of adorableness warming your precious little ears, because you'll be signing pawing your rights away soon enough. Bark my words.

(Images: Brian To / / Instagram)