If You Haven’t Peed Your Pants Yet Today, You Should Probably Watch This Terrifying Shark Video

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You know when you're just like, standing on your porch fishing in the rain with your redneck family and you're reeling something in and all of a sudden AN EFFING SHARK EATS IT? Do you know that feeling? Because I didn't before and now I do, having just watched this video. It starts with the lady one, Sarah, reeling in her line with something definitely on it, and as the videographer comes closer to the railing to get footage of the fish coming out of the water…a pretty huge shark comes out of the water as well and eats the fish right off the line.

Now I don't know about you, but one of my Top Five biggest fears is sharks. I'm so scared of sharks that as a child, I used to panic in hotel swimming pools, imagining that a baby one had somehow come through the pipes in the building and slowly grown to maturity in the depths of the pool. Ridiculous, yes, but can you 100% guarantee that it wasn't going to happen to me? Well, also probably yes. But still. The point is, the shark is the perfect predator. It swims faster in water than I can run on land, it can smell a tiny drop of blood in vast gallons of ocean water and come hunt me down, and its face is just a tooth trap that opens. Add to that the fact that it has a dorsal fin — basically a sign on its back that says, “Hi, I'm death, I'll be reaching you in approximately six seconds” — and I'm done. If I ever see a shark while swimming, it won't even need to bother attacking me, my heart will spontaneously implode in fear.

So the fact that this shark was visible from their porch is probably the most horrifying part of it. They were just fishing and suddenly a huge fucking shark was in a place that no huge fucking shark should ever be. That's the single advantage that we have over sharks — there are certain places they aren't supposed to be. Like shallow waters, or hotel swimming pools, or RIGHT UNDER YOUR PORCH. If I'm standing on my verandah and I can see a shark, I've made a huge mistake.

Did I mention that sharks are hugely terrifying? I don't know if I did. Regardless, watch this video. If nothing else, you can lose some of that water weight from lunch. Literally.