All The ‘Tom Cruise Is Gay’ Rumors That You Need To Know To Impress Everyone At Your 4th Of July BBQ

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So everyone thinks Tom Cruise is gay. Except your grandmother. And your cousin Opal who doesn't understand how someone can be gay in real life and straight in the movies. Opal is an idiot. She's also a pseudonym for every horribly ignorant person you know. Ugh, Opal is the worst. But enough about her.

Let's speculate about Tom Cruise allegedly being gay. Everyone's discussing it on the interwebs and it's important that you bring the best rumors to the BBQ tomorrow. Otherwise, there's a very small chance that anyone will even care that you're there. Sure, you might make great potato salad, but really, no one even eats that. The only thing people want to eat on the 4th of July are hot dogs and celebrity gossip. At least that's what I read in a double blind study conducted by DeVry university in the 1960s.

Apparently, way back in the '90s, everyone thought Tom Cruise only married Nicole Kidman to stop the gay rumors. But this was the '90s and my biggest concern was keeping my tamogathci alive. So at the time, I was unaware of these rumors. But a quick glance over a Wikipedia article shows that this definitely happened.  As you can see in my copy ‘n paste job from Wikipedia right here, there's lot of gay allegations and lots of lawsuits.

During Cruise's marriage to Nicole Kidman, the couple endured public speculation about their sex life and rumors that Cruise was gay. In 1998, he successfully sued the Daily Express, a British tabloid which alleged that his marriage to Kidman was a sham designed to cover up his homosexuality. In May 2001 he filed a lawsuit against gay porn actor Chad Slater. Slater had allegedly told the celebrity magazine Actustar that he had had an affair with Cruise. Both Slater and Cruise denied this[clarification needed], and in August 2001, Slater was ordered to pay $10 million to Cruise in damages after Slater declared he could not afford to defend himself against the suit and would therefore default.Cruise also sued Michael Davis, publisher of Bold Magazine, who alleged but never confirmed that he had video that would prove Cruise was gay. The suit was dropped in exchange for a public statement by Davis that the video was not of Cruise, and that Cruise was heterosexual.

And that's not all. (It never is, is it?) Right after Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman divorced, Kyle Bradford, a gay porn star, came forward and said he had an affair with Cruise. And that this affair led to Cruise and Kidman divorcing. Naturally Cruise sued him. He's a guy who really seems to love lawsuits. To each his own, I guess.

Daily Mail reports that his lawyer released the following statement following the accusation.

While the plaintiff believes in the right of others to follow their own sexual preference, vast numbers of the public throughout the world do not share that view and, believing that he had a homosexual affair and did so during his marriage, they will be less inclined to patronise Cruise's films, particularly since he tends to play parts calling for heterosexual romance and action adventure.'

Even though Cruise denies the affair, the statement's extremely odd to me. Why? Because it spells out the very reason he — and so many other closeted actors — could never come out. It's almost like an admission. Almost.

I guess marrying Katie Holmes slightly capped the rumors for a few years. But once again, a divorce is stirring up the ole gay rumor mill (operating independently since 1856) and people are once again throwing out super fun Tom Cruise gay rumors.

Like this blind item from that everyone guesses is about Tom Cruise and David Beckham. That's right. David Beckham allegedly might be gay too. So there's goes that chance you had with him.

This celebrity couple is close to a final agreement over how everything – including the child/ren – is going to be divided in the divorce. However, the wife’s legal team is having her keep one chip in her pocket for the divorce trial. If the husband’s team tries any last-minute maneuvering, the wife is not afraid to reveal an incident where she (along with their child/ren) caught her husband in bed with a family friend of theirs. The friend is a professional athlete. In case you’ve been wondering why the couples rarely get together for more than an hour and a photo op – this is the reason.

And with that rumor, you're completely up to speed on why people are saying that Tom Cruise is gay. Oh, and you're legally obligated to tell me the reaction that this story gets at your pool parties/beach paloozas/indoor kids movie marathons tomororw.

I just gave you the juiciest gossip in town, the least you can give me is a reaction face twitpic sent to @Crushabledotcom.

(Photo: HRC/WENN)