The 7 Best Quotes from the ‘Suri’s Burn Book’ Tumblr

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I feel like every day I become obsessed with a new Tumblr, and today it's Suri's Burn Book. The conceit is that the posts are supposedly written by Suri Cruise as she makes fun of other celebrity kids (and her own parents) who aren't as fabulous as her. I can totally see Suri growing up to be an even more fearsome Regina George, can't you?

Here are some of my favorite Suri-burns:

I feel sorry for Max and Emme because they have Jennifer for a mom (selfish) and Marc for a dad (unfortunate genes), and because their parents are going through a divorce. That’s rough.

But I feel sorry for MYSELF because my damn mother is the face of Ann Taylor while these kids’ mom is the face of GUCCI. GUCCI. What’s the best I can get out of Katie’s endorsement deal? An accessories shoot for Ann Taylor Loft?

I thought every hotel knows I only drink seltzer with lemon and Diet Sprite.

Katie WISHES she had the knack for fashion that I have. I practically have to dress her every morning.

Kardashians are ogre enough without the Shrek ears.

Seraphina Affleck was photographed this week wearing (gasp) a hand-me-down from her sister Violet. I understand the need for even the upper crust of Hollywood society to be frugal these days. But fashion is not the place to skimp! This dress is SO 2008.

Confession! I had a brief involvement with Cruz Beckham in the summer of 2010. I broke things off when his immaturity became too exhausting, but we’ve been able to remain close friends. I have nothing but happiness for him and the entire Beckham family at the birth of Harper Seven.