Miley Cyrus — You Put Those Eyebrows Back On Your Face This Instant, Young Lady
I don't even know how she did it — whether she shaved them or bleached them or just covered them up for the night — and I don't really care. I'm hoping it's not permanent, but what's seen cannot be unseen, so it doesn't really matter, y'know? The image I have of Miley in my head will forever be of this strange, hungry alien, puffy cheeks and distended tongue reaching hungrily for the sides of human faces.
I'm not meaning to exaggerate, although I know I do tend toward hyperbole. There's just something about a face with no eyebrows that's always been super off-putting to me. It's like that Tumblr that somebody made earlier this year where they Photoshopped the teeth out of actresses mouths so they were smiling and laughing with gums gaping. Very odd. Actresses are supposed to have teeth. Actresses have always had teeth.
And Mileys are supposed to have eyebrows, but this one doesn't, now. And I know this because she's been posting photos of herself to social media with other celebrities like Miranda Kerr and notorious feud-winner Lily Allen, with NOT A HAIR IN SIGHT, so it's officially not just a rumor that somebody somewhere rustled up. Although I do wish I'd thought of it myself, because it's just the kind of shocking move she'd pull. One of those, "I don't even want to be pretty anymore" deals that she's gotten so good at ever since she shaved her head.
Congratulations on haunting my dreams, Miley-creature. Don't wake me until those things have grown back in.