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American Hero Trolls HLN by Talking About Edward Scissorhands Instead of Edward Snowden

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Edward Scissorhands

Depending on how much time you devote to keeping up with the Kardashians, you may or may not be aware that Edward Snowden, that guy who leaked all those government documents, now has a Twitter account. Cable news network HLN talked to Twitter comedian Jon Hendren about the news earlier today. What they were expecting when they booked someone with the Twitter handle @fart on their show I can't be sure, but I'm guessing it wasn't for Jon to spend the interview talking about Edward Scissorhands.

Yes, that's right. I said Edward Scissorhands. For the first half of the interview, things seem to be pretty normal, but things quickly take a turn for the absurd. Here's what @fart (it's faster to type than Jon Hendren) has to say in response to one of anchor Yasmin Vossoughian's questions:

“I think to cast him out, to make him invalid in society, simply because he has scissors for hands…I mean that’s strange. People didn’t get scared until he started sculpting shrubs into dinosaur shapes and whatnot.”

Perhaps Ms. Vossoughian thought this was some kind of metaphor, because she just continues on with the interview as if everything is normal. And @fart continues to troll her:

“Casting him out is just completely wrong. We’re treating him like an animal, like someone who should be quarantined and put away. Just because he was created on top of a mountain by Vincent Price, incomplete with scissors for hand and no heart. Edward Scissorhands is a complete hero to me.”

You might be thinking, “Surely at this point the anchor realized what was going on and ended the interview.” But nope, she just kept going, actually asking a follow-up question about Snowden's choice to live in Russia. And if you're thinking @fart gives up the joke and answers sincerely, you're dead wrong:

“I mean, where else is he going to go? You know? We cast him out. We got scared when he poked a hole in a waterbed with his scissor fingers, and that was unreasonable of us.”

If you think reading all those quotes is funny, you're going to lose it when you actually watch it go down. And when you read what @fart tweeted after the fact:

If HLN had done their research, they would have realized that Jon Hendren is also known for getting Facebook users to send Pitbull to perform at a Walmart in Kodiak, Alaska. A true American hero.

(GIF: WeHeartIt)

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