Crush Links: Don’t Bother Locking Up Your Daughters, One Direction Will Find Them

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Selena Gomez is dating Niall Horan from One Direction? Those darn young serial monogamists… (Celeb Dirty Laundry)

Oscar Nunez reports that Steve Carrell is probably not coming back to The Office, and not to hold your breath. Way to dash my dreams! (Celebuzz)

• Just in case you were wondering how Jackie and Kelso are doing…Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are moving to England and legit getting married. (Celeb Dirty Laundry)

• In the upcoming Lance Armstrong biopic, Bradley Cooper will play him, and the title will be Cycle of Lies. Surprised that they didn't go with a ball-pun title? Us too! (Have U Heard)

You betcha'… The Fox network just totes broke up with Sarah Palin. (The Stir)

• The SAG camera crew was giving us some much needed Bennifer Garn-fleck time in lieu of Brangelina's abensce. And we're cool with that. (Lainey Gossip)

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