Atlanta Boy Will Never Live Down This Rapping Bar Mitzvah Video Invitation

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Did you know that “save the date” videos for bar and bat mitzvahs are a thing now? Well, they are. And now, thanks to the magic of the internet, a particularly, um, attention catching one has gone viral. Oh boy!

In it, 12-year-old Atlanta resident Daniel Blumen raps about his impending manhood. The template is Jermaine Dupri and Ludacris‘ “Welcome To Atlanta,” but he changes the words to make it about his bar mitzvah:

‘Oink, oink, pig pig do away with the pork [<-original lyric!], we don't eat that stuff, don't be such a dork.

‘Just read from the Torah and do the Horah and when it's finished you'll know I'm not a kid anymore, uh!'

The video also contains photos of young Daniel posing with Shaquille O'Neal, Charles Barkley, and Kasim Reed, the mayor of Atlanta(!) plus a special birthday wish from Ne-Yo. Plus the kid's rabbi, who almost definitely cried himself to sleep that night.

Daniel's father, local and apparently high powered lawyer Rick Blumen, says that he called in some favors to get his kid the celebrity cameos he desired. “It’s mostly friends of friends that have connected the different points,” he told The Atlanta Journal Constitution. Indeed.

While this is annoying to me partly in the way that those “funny” videos of brides and grooms breaking out into uber-white dancing are, this goes deeper than that. While those people are self consciously dorky, this kid seems to genuinely think he is cool and want others to get an impression of coolness from this video. And, more so than that…famous? This kid grew up with the internet and has probably been on social media since he was 5, and, like many of his peers, thinks he is entitled to his 15 minutes of fame. But rule #1 of a real viral video is that you cannot appear to be trying very hard to make one. Certainly not this hard.

That said, I'm sure this act of internet attention-grubbing will be repaid in full when some older kids give him a swirlie Monday morning. And when he has to change his name when applying for jobs because “Daniel Blumen” will forever be “that rapping bar mitzvah kid.” Hard lessons, but ones he must learn if he ever wants to truly become a man.

(Via The Daily Mail)