Guys, let's be honest with ourselves — we drank way too much coffee today. Like way too much. (By the way, I hope you don't mind if I use the term ‘we' when I talk about myself. It makes me feel much more inclusive and much less selfish. Also, as always, I'm assuming that you and I have virtually identical lives.) But anyway, we've been feeling pretty jangly all day, right? Like rarely do we even drink coffee, and today we had two — TWO! — cups. It's been for a jangly bojangles day, but it's at an end now, so we can all calm down.
Today's stupid laugh of the day comes hot off the presses from Amy Schumer and her show, and it's about women giving each other compliments. You remember how good we are at giving and receiving compliments, right? For me, at least, it's right up there with not immediately Facebook-stalking someone I've recently started dating and not throwing elbows on the subway. I am really good bad at both all of those things. But at least I'm better at compliments than these ladies! I know that as much as I sometimes don't like them, my tits don't really look like shriveled up old spaghetti squash, and as dumb as I might feel in the mornings sometimes, my response to my own SAT was never to draw a picture on it and then eat the rest. So that's a small comfort. Jury's still out on whether I'd set myself on fire if someone accepted one of my compliments about her coat, but thank god the weather is warming up now, so that's a bridge we'll cross come autumn-time.