American Apparel’s Maternity Line is Cramazing!

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We were just browsing through American Apparel's online samplings the other day (as we are wont to do) when he happened upon a section called “Maternity.” For real? Dov Charney is now marketing to knocked up hipsters? The photos seem to suggest yes – bosom-y M.I.A. looking chickas sporting multicolored onesies and holding their baby bump – but closer research revealed that this line wasn't exactly made for the expectant mommy to be. Much like their Halloween ensembles, American Apparel has gathered a bunch of good looking items together to make perfect “cool mom” outfits. Like this leotard that would be totally rad for your Lamaze class:

Or this cute romper ensemble for IKEA shopping in-style:

Cute right? I'd almost buy into the concept that 20-somethings ready to settle down and pop out a few would consider checking out what Jezebel called “fat hooker clothing” instead of say, the maternity line at Kohl's. But then we checked what was underneath those flashy billboards for the recommended items to purchase if you find yourself with a baby in the oven:

Correct us if we're wrong, but most preggers ladies don't go for the unisex leotard with the strapless bra look. In fact, these are all just items you can buy in any ole' size at any AA website. So what makes it “maternal wear?” Well, the pictures on the top of the page, d'oi, and the fact that you can order these sizes in an XXL (which is still medium to most of us). But hey, at least American Apparel is trying to reach out to the contingent of 20-somethings that are too old to be technically considered a Teen Mom candidate, but too young to give up on dreams of being an 7-month pregnant DJ opening for Cee Lo over at Brooklyn Bowl.