A Public Service Announcement Against Jeggings

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The great jeggings debate rages on! Sixty British schoolgirls were sent home for trying to pass their leggings off as proper trousers, and their parents are furious. One of the mums felt it unfair her daughter's education had to suffer over a wardrobe infraction, but I believe there really is no greater lesson that can be learned than “Don't wear jeggings.”

Because here's the thing about jeggings. Jeggings don't actually look like jeans. They look like jeggings! (We get paid per use of “jeggings” here at Crushable. Jeggings, jeggings, jeggings). Jeans leggings are not pants, or a substitute for pants, they are the absence of pants and should be treated as such. In the spirit of banishing jeggings from the face of the earth forever, here's a list of five items I'd wear before being caught dead in a pair of acid wash leggings:

1. Jorts –  I actually really like jorts, which is a pejorative for something that used to just be called cut-offs. I'll be very sad when summer's over and I can no longer bring out my favorite pair of once-were-jeans.

2. Fanny Pack – I recently received an email announcing that fanny packs are back, and while I'm not ready to take that without a grain of salt, I can concede that at least the touristy accessory is a functional faux pas.

3. This weird salmon-colored mesh football jersey type thing we got in the mail from American Apparel – It's weird. And salmony. And sitting in a ball on my desk here at the office. Anybody want it?

4. Boyfriend jeans – Boyfriend jeans don't fit me because I'm two feet tall, but I'd rather go down looking like an idiot who at least attempted to put on pants.

5. Nothing – That's right, I'll say it. I'd rather leave the house in my birthday suit than be seen wearing jeans leggings. I am brave! And dedicated! A true warrior in the anti-jeggings army! (And maybe on my way to getting arrested.)