3 ‘Hoarders’ Episodes We’d Actually Like To Watch

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We here at Crushable have an aversion to all things Hoarders. Not even getting into the debate about whether or not the A&E show exploits its weekly guests by showing America the most extreme end of an obsessive neurosis, we just have a problem with all the animal feces. It's like Fear Factor meets Extreme Home Makeover meets Intervention. And nothing quite summed up this formula like Monday night's rat king episode. (By the way, please do not Google rat king.)

The Hoarder finale introduced us to Glen, a character straight out of Willard. What did Glen hoard? Glen hoarded rats. Not like that episode where raccoons lived in that woman's garage, which was a byproduct of her poor housekeeping, but an active hoarding of rats. When we meet Glenn he tells the camera crew literally the most disturbing thing we've ever heard:

“They're in furniture, up in ceilings, in the walls, in the mattresses, everywhere,” said Glen, the rat hoarder. “They're totally out of control. They'd crawl up in a pillow and start pulling my hair out, trying to make nesting material out of it.”

And according to Glenn's bestie (or the only person who will still talk to him), “They just crawl all over him. He just loves them.” (Sorry, please hold on a moment while we cover our bodies in bleach.)

But is it jsut the nature of what people hoard that makes it so gross? All those animals (even adorable dogs and cats) can lead to major health violations and unintentional cruelty, while excessive amounts of papers, plastics, and piles of clothing make perfect breeding grounds for bugs and ferments. We racked our brains for 5 items that we wouldn't be too squeamish to watch a Hoarders episode about.

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