Entertainment

I’m Sad That This ‘I Want To Give Zayn Malik A Blow Job’ Photo Exists

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While perusing the interweb this morning and catching up on all my latest One Direction news, I came across this photo of Zayn Malik getting a blow job from a stick figure. As someone who works on the Internet every single day and spends time in some of the darkest corners of it, I'm not shocked by a photo of a stick figure blow job. I've seen much worse. As in non-stick-figure blow jobs.  I am shocked however that this is how fans are expressing their love for their celebrity crushes.

What happened to people being content with just seeing their crush at a concert? To daydreaming about kissing their crush with tongue? Are we really at the point that girls fantasize about giving their idols head out of excitement? I'd hate to think that “If I ever get my hands on Harry Styles, I'm going to give him a blow job!” is common slumber party talk these days.

Call me naive, but I still hold out hope these girls fantasize about meeting these boys  and spending a blissful day with them conversing about what makes a woman beautiful?

What does it say about our society if a girl day dreams about giving her favorite boy band member head? I know we're living in an increasizingly sexualized society, but really? Has it really come to this? This idea that giving someone a blow job proves how much you like them.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this one photo. But I just don't remember ever sitting around at middle school sleepovers talking about how Justin Timberlake's penis would feel in my mouth. But times are changing and I'm scared that this might be the way things are now. That this “I like him so much that I would suck him off to prove it” talk is the way of the middle school world now.

In slightly related news, I just decided my kids will never have Internet access. I hope they like playing jacks and marbles and other wholesome non-oral-sex related games.