Entertainment

Zayn Malik Has Officially Completed His Transformation Into Eminem, And Life Will Never Be The Same

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zayn

So I have this theory, not unlike the one I had a while back when Miley Cyrus initially cut her hair and confirmed the theory I had about her ability to look like a British man. My current celebrity hair-related theory is that the real reason Zayn Malik left One Direction was to follow his lifelong dream of becoming Eminem. Why else would he have decided to bleach his hair a rather glorious shade of white blonde?

Just a couple of weeks ago, we were convinced that Zayn was going the way of Jared Leto (or maybe just your run-of-the-mill leprechaun) when he debuted his jelly bean green hair, but it seems that that was just a quick layover on the way to Eminem-town. He showed off his newest look a few weeks ago on Instagram, but it wasn't the most revealing of images:

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(Instagram/Zayn Malik)

See what I mean? It could all have juts been a trick of the light, despite the fact that the caption reads, “White hair now.” I mean, it's not the first time that a celebrity has lied about something, like, say, a personal friendship with President Obama. Not that I'm pointing any fingers here COUGH KANYE WEST COUGH.

But alas, Zayn has not lied, because the white hair is here, and it's here in full force. And by “here,” I mean at Paris Fashion Week:

zayn blonde 2

(Instagram/Zayn Malik)

It's also at Paris Fashion Week with Joe Jonas in a very sexually confusing suit, because, well, it's been a while since he's been relevant, ya know? Nothing boosts you back to super-stardom like an Eminem mini-me:

zayn malik joe jonas

(Instagram/Zayn Malik)

So for all of the hopeful One Direction fans who thought there was still a chance that Zayn would return to the group even after that awkwardly public Twitter fight with Louis Tomlinson a few weeks back, I'd start trying to let go of that thought. After all, everyone knows there's only room for one blonde in every boy band, and Niall Horan has already filled that role. Plus, Eminem would never be caught dead wearing skinny jeans. Just sayin'.

(GIF: Tumblr)

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