Here’s A Naked Photo Of Zachary Quinto Where He Looks Like A Coy Little Merman

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In case you're wondering where Zachary Quinto is right now, whether he's naked, and how he feels about it, I can answer all three questions quite easily: in a private pool, yes, and pretty goddamn sassy.

Of course, I can't guarantee that all three of those things are true at this very moment, but they certainly were a day ago. And I ask all of you — if you had access to a private pool with a ‘no swimsuit necessary' policy, would you be in that thing all the time or just 100% of the time? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I know all these things based on a nude photo that Zachary put up yesterday of himself, skin tastefully dappled under the rippling water, a coy expression on his face echoed by the leg demurely lifted to shield his underwater man bits from more prying eyes. Like yours, ya perv. And unlike that photo of Selena Gomez that looks naked but supposedly isn't, we have a pretty good idea that this is the real deal, based on the caption: ‘private pool is golden rule.'

And I have to say, being naked whenever possible is an excellent interpretation of the golden rule, and one I can get behind. Unless it means you can pee in private pools? (Get it? Golden rule?) In which case no thank you, I shan't be swimming with you today, Zachary Quinto.

And in case you wanted even more details about Zachary's currently location — according to a commenter on that photo who says he saw him at breakfast yesterday morning, Zachary is staying at a resort in Cambodia. (I'll just pause here for a second so that we can all take a moment to truly appreciate my Instagram-sleuthing skills…)

…annnnnd moment complete. But no matter where he is, we hope Zachary is having an excellent time swanning about like the coquettish little merman that we now know he is.